Copa Lagos: This beach of a life

For three days, football met music and dance at Eko Atlantic Beach during the 2014 edition of the Copa Lagos Beach Soccer tournament.

On the pitch, Côte d’Ivoire emerged champions after bagging maximum points from their three games.

The Ivorians defeated Senegal 6-2 in the first game on Friday, December 12, and then caused a major upset with a win over hosts and defending champions Nigeria, 5-4, on Saturday.

They spanked Ghana 9-4 in their last game on Sunday, carting home the prize money of 10,000 dollars.

Nigeria came second with two wins from three games.

Senegal came third with three points, while Ghana had zero points.

In the exhibition games, the beach soccer team of Catalan giants Barcelona showed flashes of Lionel Messi with impressive displays in their matches.

They beat the Pepsi Academy beach soccer team 7-4 on day one, inflicted damage on Stationery Stores of Lagos 6-4 on Saturday, and then took Enyimba of Aba to the cleaners with a 9-2 win in their final game.

Away from the pitch, we noticed different types of fans during the three-day event. So, as the popular cola brand asked in one of its TV commercials: what type of beach soccer fan are you?

The Clueless

To fans accustomed to regular 11-a-side football, the prefix ‘ir’ would be joined to ‘regulation’ regarding what the referee allows on the pitch – sorry, beach.

So, this is your first beach soccer game? Relax and clear your mind of the jargon associated with a typical game of football.

The teams comprise four outfield players – with no specific job functions of defending and attacking – and a goalkeeper who moves freely around his penalty area with the ball in his hands.

The matches are divided into three periods of twelve minutes each, separated by two three-minute breaks, which means games last for 36 minutes. Not even up to a half in regular football? Yes.

The game remains goalless, so a draw is in the offing? No.

There are only two results in a beach soccer match – win or lose, never a draw.

If scores are level, the rules stipulate that a three-minute extra-time period should be played.

If the sides still cannot be separated, a penalty shootout will take place.

Unlike a shootout in 11-a-side, in beach soccer the shootout is sudden death from the start, with the winning team awarded two points as opposed to three for a victory within regulation time.

The losing team, of course, leaves with nothing.

If you are familiar with basketball, then substitutions here won’t shock you – there is no limit to the number of changes that can be made.

All substitutions, including goalkeepers, can be made while play is ongoing.

A team with a player like Real Madrid’s Pepe – who is prone to the occasional red card – won’t harm his team with a man short because a player who is sent off, be it for two bookings or a straight red, can be replaced by a substitute.

Wow, have your cake and eat it too? Well, you can say that again.

And there is no pre-set number of fouls that individual players must not exceed. Surely, Pepe would relish this!

Every infraction of the rules is sanctioned with a direct free kick, with no wall permitted!

Throw-ins can be taken with either hands or feet.

And, thankfully, there won’t be any arguments about whether Robin van Persie and Juan Mata’s goals against Liverpool were scored in offside positions on the beach!

The Admirers

For some, the interval between games is the most exciting part – the moment football takes a backseat.

Music meets dance, and gorgeous babes minding their weights light up the venue. Scantily clad cheerleaders take the stage and get the most attention from the crowd.

Most times, the talent of the cheerleaders lasts longer in the memory of these fans than the talent of the players playing the game. Once they come into the picture, you can see fans’ eyebrows lift.

Ralph, who has not missed the yearly event since it started, confirms this.

“Bros, the football is not even as interesting as the one we are used to,” he said.

“But nothing beats those ladies out there at the moment. Beach soccer won’t be what it is without their involvement. And I was quite scared they wouldn’t be part of this edition because of the Ebola issue. They are my true Ebola heroes. They dared the virus just to add excitement to the games.”

A military officer proved to be captivated – not by the ladies wowing the fans with their waists and faces, but by an MVP.

“Is that really Asisat Oshoala?” he asks.

You would ask the same question unless you are Taiwo George, a colleague with balls who can’t stand anything played with balls.

Yes, indeed it’s Asisat, the most valuable player at the last African Women’s Championship in Equatorial Guinea , which the Super Falcons won.

“She looks so big on TV. I can’t believe she’s this slim and small. But wait o, is that not Frank Edoho of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” the officer asks again.

“He looks small as well. TV dey lie sha!”

The Worriers

They are the security personnel engaged by the organisers to maintain law and order at the event, and rightly so, they worry about their beat.

Yet they proved my theory right that there’s an inverse relationship between the length of a program and the intensity of security measures.

To put it plainly: as a program nears its end, security measures peter out.

This theory won’t win a Nobel Prize, but it won me entrance into the venue on Sunday, the last day of the event.

Journalists are accredited for events, and this was no exception – John Abalaka, the media officer of Kinetic Sports Management, saw to it.

But to put my theory into practice, I wore a 2013 gate pass round my neck and kept the current one in my bag in case the theory went awry.

I then approached the stern-looking, just-back-from-the-gym Mr Macho at the gate. Without smiling, he politely told those without a tag to go and buy a ticket.

Currently, Mr Macho is attending to a man who keeps yelling, “I was here yesterday… I left my tag at home.”

It’s my turn, and with my heart pounding, I put my experiment to the test.

He sees the laminated rectangular paper held by a red rope on my chest, which announces “Media!”

He smiles and waves me in.

The next beach soccer festival is in December 2015, but I have accreditation already.

Who needs Abalaka when I can ‘Aba like’ as many as I need?

Only for the last day, though.

The Showoffs

Well, they are in show business, so it figures.

Comedians, musicians, actors, and ex-Super Eagles players were also part of the fun during the three-day event.

They waved to the crowd, and some had time to take selfies with fans who were star-struck.

The celebrities played a novelty match on the last day where they showed off their skills – and lack thereof – to fans who were thrilled despite it being the lowest-scoring game (1-1) in three days.